Here I want to note my experience of the several occasions when I have experienced movement in the chakras. I might add, or some would have me add, “or thought I did,” as it is an open question whether what I experienced was really chakras per se, or perhaps something else. It is questionable, too, though not from my standpoint, whether I even experienced anything at all. Perhaps I was just wishing it to be true. That is a distinct possibility, but one I reject because I have no reason to doubt that I did in fact experience something during the instances I will now relate.
During the first six months of my encounter with yoga, I had a number of experiences of energy movement, more than I can recount here. Ironically, at the time, they seemed too few and far between, but that was perhaps because my expectations were so high. I was waiting on celestial visions and voyages, and all I got were some rather mundane, yet nonetheless powerful and powerfully real sensations of energy. Interestingly, when I received shaktipat, a Sanskrit term that means direct energy transference from a realized master, I felt nothing. I joked afterwards that “my experience was that I didn’t have an experience.” I heard other people in the room experiencing kriyas — laughing, moving around, talking, etc. – and I felt deprived. I wondered whether the teacher had missed me. But no, the teacher had brushed everyone in the room with that peacock feather. What I subsequently learned is that sometimes the energy works very subtly, almost imperceptibly. If one experiences a “gross” manifestation of the energy, it suggests that the individual is at that level, though not necessarily.
I began to have more experiences later when I recited the mantras and did the meditation that it was suggested we do. Sometimes I would feel it most when I lay in shavasana, the corpse pose. At least two times it was almost like a very pleasurable paralysis, something that the lotus eater in me would have loved to have lingered on and indulged in longer than I did. I also felt some things opening up once I began to perform the yoga asanas (postures). It was quite an enlivening feeling, with the exhilarating sensation of what I experienced as warm bursts of liquid energy in various parts of the body, particularly the back and head. If I didn’t already have motivation to continue on with yoga, and I did big time, this was even more incentive to persevere. But like I said, I didn’t need to be prodded, it was so enjoyable, so I went full out. Yoga was everything to me at that time. I essentially gave up on everything else. It was a beautiful, magical time in my life, second only to the months of bliss I experienced when I was 19 and “in love” with what I now believe was the projection of my own inner anima, or Shakti. There’s a book out now called One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, and essentially that was my experience of love creeping up on me, only it was sort of more Whitmanesque, with a sensation of energy moving up to my heart as I lay in bed. Could that have been the awakening of my heart chakra? Possibly, I don’t know. But the effect was that my heart definitely was sky-wide open after that. I was lovin’ life, essentially.
I would definitely feel the energy more during and after retreats with the various Hindu teachers (most of them female) I went to see. A number of times I felt energy pulsating in the third eye area. It was definitely a spinning sensation, as if there was a propeller spinning there. I attribute such movements not only to the energy that was transmitted by the teachers during these retreats, but also to my own stepped-up practice during those times. If it was a weekend retreat, sometimes I would fast part or all of the weekend, and would not miss any of the scheduled practices. Nonetheless, I do not think I would have had such an experience were it not for the great outpouring of Shakti (divine energy) by these women masters.
In conclusion, I can’t deny what I felt, and yet I also cannot prove it to anyone, I realize. If you want to know for yourself, you have to do some kind of practice and have a good teacher or teachers. “If you want the experience, you have to do the experiment.” Happy spinning.
It was the spring of 1996, shortly after I had started out on the yoga path. I was a graduate student at the University of Pennsylvania, a Ph.d. student in Religious Studies. One night, sleeping in my apartment off campus, I had a dream that still seems highly significant. The first thing I recalled from the dream was that I was standing in a line of people to receive darshan (a Sanskrit word roughly translated as “a blessing from a master”), but it wasn’t from a woman (I had been receiving darshan from all women masters), it was a man, and not an Indian-looking man, but a black man, tall and of good build with a short ‘fro. But that’s all of what I recall from that part. So the scene changes, and suddenly I’m sitting on the other side of a table across from this same man, what seemed to be a little bit later in the evening.
And the man, eyes atwinkle, says to me, “Alan, do you remember…” and then he starts speaking in this weird language. The funny thing is that I completely recognize the language, and my entire body immediately gets wildly giddy with excitement. You’ve had dreams when your body goes through some kind of physiological change, like when you have a bad dream? Your heart goes a thumpety-thump-thump? Well, have you ever had a dream where every part of your body becomes like giddy with bliss? That’s what happened — my body was blissed out, not only in the dream, but right there in the bed. I was so excited when he started talking to me in that crazy language, and I had no idea what it was, but at the same time I completely remembered it and him, and it was like I was coming home to a part of me that was lost to my consciousness.
So in the morning I awake, and of course I’ve completely forgotten the dream. I start thinking about the day and, you know, gotta take care of business, and whatever. But as I’m doing my bathroom thing and getting ready to go out, suddenly I notice there’s this word that’s been in my mind and vying for my attention, if I would only tune in.
Have you ever had a word in your mind, and it seems so familiar that you don’t even recognize it’s there, but if you would only stop and think for a second, you would have to ask yourself: “Where did this word suddenly come from? Why am I thinking this?” Actually, this happens all the time, but we usually don’t tune in, and people who work on developing their psychic/intuitive faculties have this experience all the time.
So anyway, there’s this word that has been patiently sitting there in the back of my mind for some time: “Swayembu, Swayembu, Swayembu,” it keeps repeating. Suddenly, I recall the dream I had during the night, and I put two and two together: Okay, this must be one of the words that this man was saying to me. Sounded African to me, which would make sense since this guy had appeared to be of African heritage. So I figured that that’s what he must have been speaking in the dream — some kind of African language. I must have known him from a past life.
So later I’m telling Lila (my mentor at the time) about my dream, and when I get to the part about “Swayembu,” she excitedly says: “Swayembu?! That’s something very sacred to Lord Shiva!” Lila was really into Shiva, you have to understand, so this was for her an auspicious sign. She didn’t really explain what “Swayembu” was at that point, but I was soon to learn more about it from another source…
Here’s where the story takes an even more mystifying turn. As it turns out, that weekend I was scheduled to go with the Sahaja Yoga people up to their newly purchased land in upstate New York where they were going to build an ashram. To make a long story short, one of the things we were going on this trip for was to be in the presence of these sacred rocks that were on the property. According to the Sahaja Yogis, some of the rocks on the property were these especially sacred rocks imbued with cosmic energy. These, they told me, are referred to as…guess what? Swayembus (note: also spelled “Swayambu” and “Swayambhu,” because the Sanskrit can be transliterated different ways).
I was blown away, but I didn’t say anything to anyone. I was still keeping a journal at that point, so I just put it all down in there, what was going on. Not sure if I still have that journal somewhere, don’t think I do. But I do recall the bare bone essentials. Anyway, I call Lila and tell her, and she seems nonchalant about it: “Oh, you’re just tapping into your natural psychic abilities.” And yes, if you’ve developed your natural intuitive potential, that whole thing was run-of-the-mill, but you have to understand that for me at that time this was a big deal. The skeptic in me wondered, though: “Well, maybe I heard the Sahaja people using the word “Swayembu” the week before, it got stuck in my subconscious, and then it manifested in the dream? Simply put, I had heard the word and that’s where it came from. That’s possible, but it still didn’t really explain the dream or why it had made me so blissed out. There was something more going on…
Well, to this day, I still haven’t figured out exactly what was going on there, but I do have one idea, crazy as it may seem. The word “Swayambu” (or Swayembu) is a Sanskrit word meaning “self-born,” and it usually refers to a uniquely-formed rock or natural symbol of the divine that manifests itself spontaneously, just appears out of nowhere. The Shiva lingam is a kind of Swayambu in that is not the product of natural evolution, but is a gift of Shiva himself.
In my personal mythology, there is this view of myself as a kind of Swayambu, as self-born. Because in my personal case, I have to wonder: Where did I come from? I am so different in some ways that other family members, and so unalike most of the people I grew up with. I had a burning desire for knowledge from a young age, and ended up going deep into philosophy, religion, and ultimately yoga.
Just to give you a little sense of what my path has been, here’s a little snippet from a longer piece I’ve been writing on yoga and entheogens:
Until I was in my early twenties, I had no interest in drugs whatsoever. This was because at 14, I made a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to do any mind-altering substance. The ironic thing was that a lot of my peers thought I was on drugs all the time, just because of the way I looked and acted. I had long hair, played the electric guitar, and apparently looked pretty freaky and out of it most of the time. That was just for a couple of years, though. Once I got into distance running, I began to look and act different. In a sense, distance running was my drug for many years, and I kind of prided myself on having this natural high and not having to use drugs to get my happy on. In fact, I became adamantly opposed to all drugs and alcohol. This was partly due to messages from my parents and the media, but also because I was becoming a control freak and purist who would never do anything that might make me do something crazy, or that would in some way damage my body or psyche (or take away from my athletic performance). It’s interesting that the same year that I said “no” to drugs, I also: Quit the guitar and stopped listening to music; quit masturbating; stopped watching t.v.; started distance running; became radically antisocial (I stopped talking to even my closest friends, and never dated or partied); and decided — no, swore — I was never going to ever use another swear word ever again. Without knowing anything about Nietzsche, I was well on my way to becoming an ubermensch. I had chosen the ascetic path, and it was a path I more or less kept on for most of my adult life.
And there is a sense of being “self-born”, too, in that growing up I never had a real teacher or mentor, I was just following the lead of the inner guru, tormenting as it was sometimes.
[Note: Here is some more about Swayambus...
There are 14 Manvantar's in each Kalpa. Each Manvantar (a period of 31,104,000 years) is started by a Manu. The current Manvantar is the seventh Manvantar. This Manvantar was started by Vaivasvat Manu. Our history records 6 earlier Manu's as: Swayambhu Manu, Swarochi Manu, Uttam Manu, Tamas Manu, Raiwat Manu, and Chakshush Manu.
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TEMPLE FEATURES
The Lingam from Pralayakala
The presiding deity is a swayambu linga and the oldest among the 64 in the world. Even before the `pralayam' (deluge), this linga with `gnana sakthi' (Parvati) existed here. According to Agneya Purana, the linga was facing west when the Sun God offered his worship here. It is peculiar to see two Nandis here one behind the other, facing Vanchinathar in the sanctum sanctorum.
The Shiva Lingam in Sri Vanchiyam at the sanctum sanctorum is a "Swayambu (self-manifested)" one. It was in the shape of "Theyu" during Pralaya Kalam, "Rathnam" in Krudhayuga, "Golden" in Thredha Yuga, "Silver" in Dhwapara Yuga and "Stone" in Kaliyuga. This is stated in "Samboba puranam". Sri Agasthia Muni - came to South during the celestial marriage of Goddess Parvathi with Shiva, He came to Sri Vanchiyam via Vedaranyam, He spotted the Swayambu Lingam - according to this puranam.
The sanctity of this temple has been described in Brahmandam, Skandam, Samboban and Agneya Puranas.
Six places on the banks of the river Cauvery are said to be the most sacred and equivalent to Varanasi: Thiruvengadu, Tiruvaiyaru, Sayavanam, Mayuram, Tiruvidaimarudur and Srivanchiyam. Out of these, Srivanchiyam is "one-sixteenth" more sacred than Kasi (Varanasi). Lord Shiva is said have told Parvati that He loves this place the most.]
Below is a YouTube video of an interview with John Lennon on his and the other Beatles’ use of LSD. Watch it for a deeper understanding of the man. Also, please read the excerpts from some interviews with Lennon, and selected quotes.
I’ve been talking about entheogens, God-inspiring substances (”consciousness-expanders,” or how about “Spirit Revealers”), of which LSD is surely to be counted as one. A question for those of you out there who are anti-LSD: Would you want to live in a world without the Beatles music? Isn’t it so much better with such brilliant, brilliant art? But would this music have ever come to be were it not for LSD? Sir Paul (who ingested far less than John, certainly) has admitted as much — LSD was the source of quite a bit of the Fab Four’s inspiration. As Lennon notes, acid never wrote the songs, but it surely played a part in the consciousness of the four men who composed that glorious body of music.
That said, do keep in mind that Lennon stopped taking LSD because of too many bad trips. Well, I want to say that I’m not advocating LSD as the Entheogen of Choice. Perhaps natural plant medicines such as Iboga or Ayahuasca would be a wiser decision.
That brings me to comment on Eckhart Tolle’s recent admission to Oprah that he has tried LSD himself, partly to see how it would compare to his own awakening experience. Here’s a little piece I wrote at right around the time the Tolle-Oprah dialogue was beginning:
Some of you have already heard me talk about this, namely Eckhart’s “confiding” (in front of at least 700,000 viewers) to Oprah that he has taken acid — just to see how it compared to the awakening experience he had about a decade ago. In short, he remarked that LSD felt “violent” to him, and that his own experience was “much better.” I guess you might say LSD induced a “rude awakening” in him, as opposed to his own more “natural awakening.”
I also had an awakening experience which was not drug induced, and it led me to the path I’m on (that of yoga). And along the way I’ve had a number of little “satori” experiences — openings, epiphanies, that came about naturally and organically. In short, I would have to say that I, too, was able to grow spiritually without the use of drugs. That said, I also want to say that it’s not for me to judge anyone else’s path, what the universe brings an individual’s way to help them to grow. For some people, entheogens (what used to be called psychedelics — “entheogens” means “God-inducing/inspiring”) provide an opening to the spiritual dimension that they otherwise might not have had. It certainly did it for many people in the sixties, and although some were permanently damaged by their experiences, many others were greatly helped.
Some of you may know of Ram Dass (aka Richard Alpert) who worked with Timothy Leary at Harvard in the 50s and 60s before both of them were kicked out for experimenting with what were then called “psychedelics.” Well, Richard Alpert went on to take some 300+ LSD trips (probably more like close to 4-500, actually) over the course of the 60s, before he went to India and learned from his guru, Neem Karoli Baba, that one does not necessarily need to ingest drugs to reach higher levels of consciousness. At that point, when he had returned from India, Ram Dass wrote “Be Here Now,” which influenced a lot of people, especially in regard to getting off of drugs. So I recommend reading “Be Here Now,” if you have the chance, but until then, I’ve selected a few videos that you will definitely find interesting. They’re not too long. One is from Ram Dass in the 60s (when he was still Richard Alpert); one from the 70s, after returning from India; and one from the 80s — a more mature Ram Dass looking back on his journey. And I leave it to you to look for videos of Ram Dass from the 90s and today. You’ll see that even with taking all of those acid trips, Ram Dass remained remarkably lucid, always the speaker par excellence. Anyway, here they are…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hW6Dm_m5t4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfl-ySSARx8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao7o7evbE24
Tomorrow I will talk more about Tolle’s comments, but for now I would like to say that, unfortunately, not everyone will have a “natural awakening” like Tolle had, and even if they do, some, like me, would like to go “Furthur” with our exploration of consciousness. And why would Tolle take LSD and not, perhaps, a lower dose of a plant medicine such as, say, San Pedro(containing mescaline, a phenethylamine)? Wouldn’t that have gotten him closer to comparing like with like? In this sense, I find what Tolle said to be somewhat disturbing. But perhaps he was taking that kind of stance because he was being listening to by so many thousands?
Notes about Lennon’s drug use from his interview with Rolling Stone.
How did you first get involved in LSD?
A dentist in London laid it on George, me and the wives, without telling us, at a dinner party at his house. He was a friend of George’s and our dentist at the time, and he just put it in our coffee or something.
When you came down, what did you think?
I was pretty stoned for a month or two. The second time we had it was in L.A. We were on tour in one of those houses, Doris Day’s house or wherever it was we used to stay, and the three of us took it, Ringo, George and I. Maybe Neil [Aspinall] and a couple of the Byrds - what’s his name, the one in the Stills and Nash thing? - Crosby and the other guy who used to do the lead. McGuinn. I think they came, I’m not sure, on a few trips. Peter Fonda came, and that was another thing. He kept saying [in a whisper], “I know what it’s like to be dead.” It was a sad song, an acidy song, I suppose. “When I was a little boy” . . . you see, a lot of early childhood was coming out, anyway. So LSD started for you in 1964. How long did it go on?
It went on for years, I must have had a thousand trips. Literally a thousand, or a couple of hundred? A thousand - I used to just eat it all the time.
The other Beatles didn’t get into LSD as much as you did?
George did. In L.A. the second time we took it, Paul felt very out of it because we are all a bit slightly cruel, sort of “we’re taking it, and you’re not.” But we kept seeing him, you know. We couldn’t eat our food; I just couldn’t manage it, just picking it up with our hands. There were all these people serving us in the house, and we were knocking food on the floor and all of that. It was a long time before Paul took it. I think George was pretty heavy on it; we are probably the most cracked. Paul is a bit more stable than George and I.
And straight?
I don’t know about straight. Stable. I think LSD profoundly shocked him and Ringo. I think maybe they regret it.
Did you have many bad trips?
I had many. Jesus Christ, I stopped taking it because of that. I just couldn’t stand it.
You got too afraid to take it?
It got like that, but then I stopped it for I don’t know how long, and then I started taking it again just before I met Yoko. I got the message that I should destroy my ego, and I did, you know. I was slowly putting myself together round about Maharishi time. Bit by bit over a two-year period, I had destroyed me ego. I didn’t believe I could do anything. I just was nothing. I was shit. Then Derek [Taylor, Apple press officer] tripped me out at his house after he got back from L.A. He sort of said, “You’re all right,” and pointed out which songs I had written: “You wrote this,” and “You said this,” and “You are intelligent, don’t be frightened.” The next week I went to Derek’s with Yoko, and we tripped again, and she made me realize that I was me and that it’s all right. That was it; I started fighting again, being a loudmouth again and saying, “I can do this. Fuck it. This is what I want,” you know. “I want it, and don’t put me down.” I did this, so that’s where I am now. At some point, right between `Help!’ and `Hard Day’s Night,’ you got into drugs and got into doing drug songs. A Hard Day’s Night, I was on pills. That’s drugs, that’s bigger drugs than pot. I started on pills when I was fifteen, no, since I was seventeen, since I became a musician. The only way to survive in Hamburg to play eight hours a night, was to take pills. The waiters gave you them - the pills and drink. I was a fucking dropped-down drunk in art school. Help! was where we turned on to pot, and we dropped drink, simple as that. I’ve always needed a drug to survive. The others, too, but I always had more, more pills, more of everything because I’m more crazy probably.
How do you think LSD affected your conception of the music? In general?
It was only another mirror. It wasn’t a miracle. It was more of a visual thing and a therapy, looking at yourself a bit. It did all that. You know, I don’t quite remember. But it didn’t write the music. I write the music in the circumstances in which I’m in, whether it’s on acid or in the water.
What was your experience with heroin?
It just was not too much fun. I never injected it or anything. We sniffed a little when we were in real pain. We got such a hard time from everyone, and I’ve had so much thrown at me and at Yoko, especially at Yoko. We took H because of what the Beatles and others were doing to us. But we got out of it.
Quotes by John Lennon
The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up. Everybody’s too scared to deal with children all the time, so we reject them and send them away and torture them. The ones who survive are the conformists — their bodies are cut to the size of the suits — the ones we label good. The ones who don’t fit the suits either are put in mental homes or become artists.
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
I don’t believe in killing whatever the reason!
I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people.
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.
Everything is clearer when you’re in love.
I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?
I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.
I don’t intend to be a performing flea any more. I was the dreamweaver, but although I’ll be around I don’t intend to be running at 20,000 miles an hour trying to prove myself. I don’t want to die at 40.
If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.
If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that’s his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
It doesn’t matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or whether I’m a woman or a man.
Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.
Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.
Music is everybody’s possession. It’s only publishers who think that people own it.
My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law. It’s nine-tenths of the problem.
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realised that the imagery in my mind wasn’t insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.
The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live? I mean, is there something wrong with society that’s making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
The more I see the less I know for sure.
The older generation are leading this country to galloping ruin!
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
The worst drugs are as bad as anybody’s told you. It’s just a dumb trip, which I can’t condemn people if they get into it, because one gets into it for one’s own personal, social, emotional reasons. It’s something to be avoided if one can help it.
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.
We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation, a ship going to discover the New World. And the Beatles were in the crow’s nest of that ship.
We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.
You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!
You either get tired fighting for peace, or you die.
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that’s a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
You’re just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You’ve got to get down to your own God in your own temple. It’s all down to you, mate.
Many of these are from from his interview with Rolling Stone
Do you think you’re a genius?
Yes, if there is such a thing as one, I am one. When did you realize that what you were doing transcended — People like me are aware of their so-called genius at ten, eight, nine. . . . I always wondered, “Why has nobody discovered me?” In school, didn’t they see that I’m cleverer than anybody in this school? That the teachers are stupid, too? That all they had was information that I didn’t need? I got fuckin’ lost in being at high school. I used to say to me auntie, “You throw my fuckin’ poetry out, and you’ll regret it when I’m famous, ” and she threw the bastard stuff out. I never forgave her for not treating me like a fuckin’ genius or whatever I was, when I was a child. It was obvious to me. Why didn’t they put me in art school? Why didn’t they train me? Why would they keep forcing me to be a fuckin’ cowboy like the rest of them? I was different, I was always different. Why didn’t anybody notice me? A couple of teachers would notice me, encourage me to be something or other, to draw or to paint - express myself. But most of the time they were trying to beat me into being a fuckin’ dentist or a teacher.
Please Note: I excerpted this material from the following website, so kudos should got to the individual who did the grunt work, not me: http://eqi.org/jl.htm
We’ve been talking about entheogens, and their potential medical and spiritual benefits. The entheogen I want to talk about today is Iboga, also called Ibogaine. If you want some basic info. about Iboga, try the wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iboga . A very good book on entheogens in general, and Iboga in particular, is Daniel Pinchbeck’s “Breaking Open the Head.” Anyone interested in the subject of entheogens, mystical experience, spirituality, and cultural studies, should definitely read it. I will be writing more on Pinchbeck in later posts, but suffice it to say that I consider him a fellow traveler.
I also have friends who have taken Iboga, and found it to be one of the most remarkable experiences of their lives, both from a healing perspective, but also for what it revealed to them about the Cosmos. So without further ado, I want to share with you a couple of videos that were passed on along to me by Martin Polanco, M.D. ( Dr. Polanco also worked with Dr. Roland Griffiths on some of the psilocybin studies at Johns Hopkins.)
When you see these videos, you will no doubt ask yourself: Why is Ibogaine still illegal in this country? Who are the real Powers That Be that are keeping us from these radically life-transforming substances? And if you do ask these questions, I would ask you: What are you going to do about it?
Thank you, Dr. Polanco…
CBS channel 5 SF on Ibogaine:
Rite of Passage documentary about Ibogaine
Daniel Pinchbeck talking about his Iboga experience:
One of the threads of this Blog is Entheogens, with the question of whether their sacramental use might be beneficial for us. My answer, in case you didn’t realize it yet, is a qualified “yes.” Qualified because taking Entheogens is not something to be taken lightly. That’s what “sacramental use” means — that they are to be taken with “fear and trembling” (to use Kierkagaard’s phrase) and with a deep desire and willingness to Know and Experience the Truth, or Truth; so the “set and setting” are key elements of entheogen use, and due precautions must be taken, correct dosage is essential, etc. And “qualified” also because we should realize that entheogens are not for everyone — “bad trips” do happen — and they are but one path.
Now let’s move on to the new Johns Hopkins study. I want to thank Dr. Martin Polanco for bringing this to my attention. If you have been diagnosed with cancer, this new Johns Hopkins study is something that you might really want to look into (the link can be found below):
Seeking Volunteers with a Cancer Diagnosis
to participate in a scientific study of self-exploration
and personal meaning
In recent years, scientists at some U.S. universities have been conducting studies using entheogens, resuming research in pharmacology, psychology, creativity, and spirituality that was suspended following the drug excesses of the 1960s.
Entheogens include the peyote cactus used by the Native American Church, the psilocybin-containing mushrooms used as sacraments in Mesoamerica, and certain other plants and chemicals. Such substances have been used for thousands of years in cultures from the Amazon to ancient Greece as a means of inducing non-ordinary states of consciousness for psychological self-exploration and spiritual or religious purposes.
These states of consciousness are most widely known in connection with practices such as meditation and prolonged fasting. Context seems to play a major role in shaping entheogen experiences and their consequences. Despite the well-known problems that can arise in unstructured settings, the risks of entheogens in research and ritual contexts have proven to be very small.
Researchers at the Johns Hopkins University are seeking volunteers with a current or past diagnosis of cancer who have some anxiety or are feeling down about their cancer to participate in a scientific study of self-exploration and personal meaning brought about by the entheogen psilocybin, a psychoactive substance found in mushrooms used as a sacrament in some cultures, given in a comfortable, supportive setting. Questionnaires and interviews will be used to assess the effects of the substance on consciousness, mood, and behavior.
Volunteers enrolled in the study will receive careful preparation and 2 sessions in which they will receive psilocybin. Structured guidance will be provided during the session and afterwards to facilitate integration of the experiences. The study complies with FDA regulations.
Volunteer must be between the ages of 21 and 70, have no personal history of severe psychiatric illness, or recent history of alcoholism or drug abuse, have someone willing to pick them up and drive them home at the end of the two psilocybin sessions (around 5:00 PM).
If you would like to discuss the possibility of volunteering, please call 410–550–5990 or email cancer@bpru.org and ask for Mary, the study’s research coordinator. Confidentiality will be maintained for all applicants and participants.
Principal Investigator: Roland R. Griffiths, Ph.D., Protocol: NA_00001390
The link is : http://www.bpru.org/cancer/insight/
And here’s a fascinating CNN report about the previous Johns Hopkins study:
Here’s the abstract for the 2006 Johns Hopkins study of psilocybin. The rest of this study, as well as a wealth of materials on entheogens, can be found here: http://www.csp.org/practices/entheogens/entheogens.html
ORIGINAL INVESTIGATION
Psilocybin can occasion mystical-type experiences
having substantial and sustained personal
meaning and spiritual significance
R. R. Griffiths &W. A. Richards & U. McCann & R. Jesse
Received: 20 January 2006 / Accepted: 27 May 2006 / Published online: 7 July 2006
# Springer-Verlag 2006
Abstract
Rationale Although psilocybin has been used for centuries
for religious purposes, little is known scientifically about its
acute and persisting effects.
Objectives This double-blind study evaluated the acute and
longer-term psychological effects of a high dose of psilocybin
relative to a comparison compound administered under
comfortable, supportive conditions.
Materials and methods The participants were hallucinogennaïve
adults reporting regular participation in religious or
spiritual activities. Two or three sessions were conducted at
2-month intervals. Thirty volunteers received orally administered
psilocybin (30 mg/70 kg) and methylphenidate
hydrochloride (40 mg/70 kg) in counterbalanced order. To
obscure the study design, six additional volunteers received
methylphenidate in the first two sessions and unblinded
psilocybin in a third session. The 8-h sessions were conducted
individually. Volunteers were encouraged to close
their eyes and direct their attention inward. Study monitors
rated volunteers’ behavior during sessions. Volunteers
completed questionnaires assessing drug effects and mystical
experience immediately after and 2 months after
sessions. Community observers rated changes in the
volunteer’s attitudes and behavior.
Results Psilocybin produced a range of acute perceptual
changes, subjective experiences, and labile moods including
anxiety. Psilocybin also increased measures of mystical
experience. At 2 months, the volunteers rated the psilocybin
experience as having substantial personal meaning and
spiritual significance and attributed to the experience sustained
positive changes in attitudes and behavior consistent
with changes rated by community observers.
Conclusions When administered under supportive conditions,
psilocybin occasioned experiences similar to spontaneously
occurring mystical experiences. The ability to
occasion such experiences prospectively will allow rigorous
scientific investigations of their causes and consequences.
Further Exploration of Entheogens and Yoga (Might call this “Exhibit B”)…
Ganga White is the Co-Director of White Lotus Yoga in Santa Barbara, and one of the the most prominent western yogis. Ganga recently wrote a book entitled “Yoga Beyond Belief” (highly recommended) in which he refers to himself as a “renegade yogi,” apparently for some of his non-traditional views, as well as espousal of the potential benefits of plant medicines such as Ayahuasca. Seeking to learn more about Ganga’s perspective, I went to his website (www.whitelotus.org), where I found an interview he did with Laura Huxley, the widow of Aldous Huxley (author or “The Doors of Perception,” among others). In the course of the interview, Ganga asked Huxley some pointed questions about drugs and entheogens. What follows is a brief excerpt…
**************************
Ganga:Drugs are such an extraordinary problem in our society and there is such hysteria. Do you think there is a positive aspect that is being overlooked and the baby is being thrown out with the bath water.
Laura: Oh, certainly. There is danger in everything that we do. We are to eat food otherwise we don’t live and sometimes we eat food that is very damaging.
Ganga: Or we become addicted to food.
Laura: Or addicted to food. Oh, yes, addiction to food is unfortunately really grave, also to alcohol or to anything else. But these drugs can be such an extraordinary gift, really. Some, not all drugs. Again, how can we speak about “drugs”? It is like speaking about the human race—each person is different, each drug is different!
Ganga: There are different classes of drugs and they are all being lumped together.
Laura: Yes, but they don’t consider nicotine as a drug. Why don’t they put it together with all the other drugs? And alcohol is certainly one of the most abused drugs since ever and ever, since Dionysus. They say have a glass of wine at dinner, which was done in the Latin countries. In Italy we always had a glass of wine at dinner. It is a good thing. But if you have dozens of glasses of wine at dinner it is not so good. Paracelsius said that the difference between a good medicine and a poison is the dosage.
Ganga: There is a big resurgence of interest in shamanism as well as “plant teachers”. Do you think this is a good direction and what would you advise people?
Laura:I would advise them to study everything that they ingest. Study first of all their own organism and see what kind of reaction they might have. Some people just cannot take certain foods. That’s all. People are allergic. Some people are allergic to orange juice, can you imagine? Orange juice is very healthy isn’t it? Yet some people cannot drink it without having an allergic reaction. Also, who is the person giving it to you? With whom area you taking it? And where, and even why. It can be a tremendous gift but it also might be a dangerous gift.
Ganga: Like electricity.
Laura: Like electricity, exactly.
Ganga: How have psychedelics helped or harmed or influenced you?
Laura: I was deeply affected. They gave me a much wider view of the world, as well as a much wider view of our ignorance, and ignorance, according to the Buddha, is our basic difficulty. Psychedelics and the process of aging make that clear to me all the time.
**********************
Check out this video about Aldous Huxley:
Yoga and Entheogens — Towards a Deeper Understanding…
[Please Note: This is the first in a series of pieces dealing with entheogens ("god-inspiring substances"; aka plant medicines, psychoactive drugs, psychedelics, hallucinogens -- the latter two terms somewhat obsolete or fallen into disfavor) and yoga. I will be asking, and attempting to resolve, certain thorny issues such as, "Can or should entheogens be used by one who seriously walks the yoga path?" and "What benefit might they have for the serious student of yoga?" and "How has the yoga/spiritual community's changed towards entheogens since the 60s and now, and why?" and "What are the legal and moral issues and ramifications?" And so on.
First you might want to check out the following Wiki article on Entheogens, just in case you need to get up to speed (<–not an entheogen):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen
Next, watch the following video of a lecture by Ram Dass speaking on the subject of his experiences with and reflections on entheogens (and for more info. on Ram Dass, either go to his website: http://www.ramdass.org/ ; or read the following Wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ram_Dass ) :
Here’s the second part, too:
Finally, for right now we’ll conclude with Ram Dass’ famous story of what happened when he gave LSD to his guru, Neem Karoli Baba. Please be sure to read my comments afterward, too.
3~’**********************************************3~’ When I First Came to India (by Ram Dass)
“In 1967 when I first came to India, I brought with me a supply of LSD, hoping to find someone who might understand more about these substances than we did in the West. When I had met Maharajji (Neem Karoli Baba), after some days the thought had crossed my mind that he would be a perfect person to ask. The next day after having that thought, I was called to him and he asked me immediately, “Do you have a question?” Of course, being before him was such a powerful experience that I had completely forgotten the question I had had in my mind the night before. So I looked stupid and said, “No, Maharajji, I have no question.”He appeared irritated and said, “Where is the medicine?”
I was confused but Bhagavan Dass suggested, ” Maybe he means the LSD.” I asked and Maharajji nodded. The bottle of LSD was in the car and I was sent to fetch it.
When I returned I emptied the vial of pills into my hand. In addition to the LSD there were a number of other pills for this and that–diarrhea, fever, a sleeping pill, and so forth. He asked about each of these.
He asked if they gave powers. I didn’t understand at the time and thought that by “powers” perhaps he meant physical strength. I said, “No.” Later, of course, I came to understand that the word he had used, “siddhis,” means psychic powers. Then he held out his hand for the LSD. I put one pill on his palm. Each of these pills was about three hundred micrograms of very pure LSD–a solid dose for an adult. He beckoned for more, so I put a second pill in his hand–six hundred micrograms. Again he beckoned and I added yet another, making the total dosage nine hundred micrograms–certainly not a dose for beginners. Then he threw all the pills into his mouth. My reaction was one of shock mixed with fascination of a social scientist eager to see what would happen.
He allowed me to stay for an hour– and nothing happened. Nothing whatsoever.
He just laughed at me.
The whole thing had happened very fast and unexpectedly. When I returned to the United States in 1968 I told many people about this acid feat. But there had remained in me a gnawing doubt that perhaps he had been putting me on and had thrown the pills over his shoulder or palmed them, because I hadn’t actually seen them go into his mouth.
Three years later, when I was back in India, he asked me one day, “Did you give me medicine when you were in India last time?”
“Yes.”
“Did I take it?” he asked. ( Ah, there was my doubt made manifest!)
“I think you did.”
“What happened?
“Nothing.”
“Go! Jao!” and he sent me off for the evening.
The next morning I was called over to the porch in front of his room, where he sat in the mornings on a tucket. He asked, “Have you got any more of that medicine?”
It just so happened that I was carrying a small supply of LSD for “just in case,” and this was obviously it. “Yes.”
“Get it,” he said.
So I did. In the bottle were five pills of three hundred micrograms each. One of the pills was broken. I placed them on my palm and held them out to him. He took the four unbroken pills. Then, one by one, very obviously and very deliberately, he placed each one in his mouth and swallowed it– another unspoken thought of mine now answered.
As soon as he had swallowed the last one, he asked, “Can I take water?”
“Yes.”
“Hot or cold?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He started yelling for water and drank a cup when it was brought.
Then he asked,” How long will it take to act?”
“Anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour.”
He called for an older man, a long -time devotee who had a watch, and Maharajji held the man’s wrist, often pulling it up to him to peer at the watch.
Then he asked,” Will it make me crazy?”
That seemed so bizarre to me that I could only go along with what seemed to be a gag.
So I said, “Probably.”
And then we waited. After some time he pulled the blanket over his face, and when he came out after a moment his eyes were rolling and his mouth was ajar and he looked totally mad. I got upset. What was happening? Had I misjudged his powers? After all, he was an old man (though how old I had no idea), and I had let him take twelve hundred micrograms. Maybe last time he had thrown them away and then he read my mind and was trying to prove to me he could do it, not realizing how strong the “medicine” really was. Guilt and anxiety poured through me. But when I looked at him again he was perfectly normal and looking at the watch.
At the end of an hour it was obvious nothing had happened. His reactions had been a total put-on. And then he asked, “Have you got anything stronger?” I didn’t. Then he said, “These medicines were used in Kulu Valley long ago. But yogis have lost that knowledge. They were used with fasting. Nobody knows now. To take them with no effect, your mind must be firmly fixed on God. Others would be afraid to take. Many saints would not take this.” And he left it at that.
When I asked him if I should take LSD again, he said, “It should not be taken in a hot climate. If you are in a place that is cool and peaceful, and you are alone and your mind is turned toward God, then you may take the yogi medicine.”
by Ram Dass
3~’********************************************3~’
Note: This story is actually a combination of two stories that Ram Dass told, the first (from his first trip to India in ‘68) is recounted in his book, “Be Here Now.” The second story is to be found in “The Only Dance There Is,” which is a collection of his lectures given at the Menninger Foundation in the early Seventies. I found the story here: http://neemkarolibaba.com/content/view/106/39/
I just want to conclude with a few comments and questions on what Ram Dass wrote: First, are these stories true, or only partly true? I ask this partly because one western yogi who went to India around the same time as Ram Dass recently wrote to me that he doesn’t “believe the whole Ram Dass mythology.” Well, Ram Dass might have made the stories a little more elaborate and interesting, but my feeling is that the basic stories — that he gave LSD to NKB and it didn’t seem to have an effect on him — are true. I believe that Bhagavan Das (who was present at the time) has confirmed as much, too.
The second question I want to bring up is: Was Neem Karoli Baba recommending that any serious yoga aspirant could take LSD, or only Ram Dass?
It seems from this story, that he was just okaying it for Ram Dass, not for anyone else. The question then is: Did Ram Dass continue to recommend its use when he returned to the States? Not publicly, as far as I’m aware, because by that time LSD was illegal. My understanding is that from that point on, Ram Dass began to publicly recommend and teach yoga practices like chanting, meditation, breathwork, etc., as alternatives to psychoactive drugs such as LSD. At the same time, as in the above videos, Ram Dass did continue to speak on the positive effects that psychedelics (”entheogens” was not a word in vogue at that point) had on his own life and consciousness, but also discussing their shortcomings, as well.
Please write me, though, if you have more information on this subject. I will return to it again in future blog entries. Thanks for listening! Namaste
Welcome back to yet another segment of our Journey of Self-Discovery.
Thus far we have discussed the Enneagram and Saturn Return, which are two ways of better understanding oneself and place in the world. Now I would like to introduce you to something which will almost certainly, if you fully engage with it, give you pause, if not Awe. I’m talking about Nadi Astrology, and first I would ask that you watch the following video all the way through and deeply consider what is being said.
Next, please read the following Wiki article on Nadi Astrology to get some more background:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nadi_astrology
And here is one other video on the subject to ponder:
[This astrologer also has videos where he predicted that Hilary Clinton would win the Democratic nomination, not Obama, but I don't think that necessarily takes away from what these leaves can tell you about yourself. What he was doing was interpreting the leaves in that case, not reading them word for word.]
That’s just a little introduction to Nadi Astrology. If you are interested, you might wantto read about my personal exploration of this subject (below).
*************************************************************************** Nadi Astrology — My Personal Nadi Reading & Reflections
When I was in Bangalore that first India trip (1997) , L. was strongly suggesting I go get a palm leaf reading. Now, like you, perhaps, I had no idea what palm leaf reading even was (like reading your palm?), and I was hesitant, but at the same time open and interested.
L. explained that thousands of years ago, in deep meditation, certain yogi sages were given the life information of souls who were to incarnate in the future. They then wrote this information on the palm leaves, and the leaves were passed down from generation to generation, with the knowledge of how to read and interpret them.
So essentially a palm leaf reading (known in India as “Nadi” or “lifestream” readings) is a soul analysis done by a highly trained person who knows how to find, read, and interpret each person’s individual leaf. You can imagine that once I understood this, being who I am (a “Depth-Seeker”), I was very excited about going and seeing if my leaf was there. But then, too, I wanted exact details — names, numbers, future events foretold, etc. Having been in India for a couple of weeks already, though, I was realizing that THAT kind of certainty was going to be somewhat hard to come by. Still, I was hopeful.
Nonetheless, first thing that happens when we arrive at the Nadi reader’s place is that it looks like he won’t have time for me today, because after all, I haven’t made an appointment. But we wait it out (my friend, at least, knows not to take “no” for an answer in India) and after an interminable wait with lots of mantras and attempts at meditation, we’re finally led into his inner chamber, which is basically just a little office.
This Nadi reader is nice, speaks English, seems somewhat cosmopolitan. He’s probably seen not a few westerners like me, after all. He first asks me some basic questions about my life, which I have no idea why he needs really, but I obligingly answer everything he asks. Then he takes my thumb print and goes back into another room to look for my leaf. It isn’t too long before he comes back and asks me a few more questions to narrow down his search. After another trip back into his inner chamber, he comes back with my leaf. He asks me some more questions, and then proceeds to give me the reading. He suggests that first I take some pen and paper and make notes, as he would not be able to record what he says. So I do, and here’s the transcript of the notes I took from the reading:
“My Nakshatra is Citra. This is the most mystical of signs. Overcoming sexual desire is a big thing, or can be.
I was the third child. I was formed first and came last. [Didn't understand this at first, but essentially was saying that Edward, my fraternal twin, is the youngest, the fourth.]
I have “researching potential.” I know 3 languages, Spanish one of them (this is true). I will be a writer, philosopher, and teacher. I will write a philosophy book which synthesizes psychology, Vedanta, and religion [I have yet to do this, unless "Child's Play," the artistic anthology I put together, is the book to which he referred.] I will do “unification work.” I will also teach philosophy.
I will be a traveler to learn. Want to meet my guru, but my guru is not alive. I will meet many masters, but find my own way. I will find the reality of knowledge and life.
I am aware that I have some blockages inside. These blockages will go when I learn these knowledges and languages.
In my last life, I was born in India, and was a teacher of non-dualistic knowledge and Vikarana [Grammar -- didn't know what it meant at the time.]
In this life, through the practices of Kundalini Yoga, I will learn all Vedanta and grammar. Patanjali’s Yoga system will open my third eye, which will “give brightness in inner life.” He also said: “Yoga will give strength for inner life.”
I was born in Israel in Jesus’ time, and had close contact with Jesus. I was witness to Jesus’ punishment at the time. I went to Nepal at bottom of Himalayas. I criticized my masters and gave away secrets to “non-permitted people.” As a result, in this lifetime I have these certain blockages. As a result, I am very careful about mistakes in this life. [In the margin, I wrote: "Is that so?" which is I think a question the Nadi reader asked me in regard to making mistakes. I answered: "Yes," because I was becoming increasingly careful and conscious about every thought, word, and deed, and making sure that I was truly living in accordance with the wisdom I was learning.] I will also have a lot of experiences in the region of the Himalayas — I will go in this lifetime [Haven't gone yet].
I was also born in Spain, but the land in which I was born no longer exists now.
I have a desire to live in the countryside and do research. Will live in the Southeast of North America [I was then living in the Northeast, and am now in Florida -- the Southeast].
The Nadi reader then asked if I have taught? I said that I have taught in High School. He said that I will teach languages in College. [Somehow don't see that happening now?] He later said I would do many kinds of work.
Health: Stomach is sensitive. Must eat slowly. Having a regular time of eating is best. [Haven't fully succeeded with either of these suggestions yet.] May have an operation on stomach or throat. Pranayama will give good health for me. Also, water therapy: Drink water in the early morning, and 30 minutes prior to lunch and dinner.
Relationships: I am separated from my partner. I would marry second important girl in that year. I would find her in 19-20 months. My coming partner will be a good healer and counselor. We would have 1 child, if “both minds permit.” We would live together for many years, then marry. [Well, I was "separated" only in the sense that I was in India, and E. was in Philadelphia at the time, though it wasn't long (19-20 months?) before we were to go our separate ways. If that's what he was referring to, he was right on, but I did not find someone new in 19-20 months, no. My current partner is a good healer and counselor, though, that is true, but we met a good 8-9 years after the Nadi reading.]
I was told to recite a certain mantra for jnana (wisdom/Knowledge). The Nadi reader wrote it on the page in both Sanskrit and English. I was to repeat it 30 minutes each day: 10 in the morning, 10 in the evening, and 10 prior to sleep. [I never kept up with this practice, but I was doing so many other practices...]
At the end I asked 3 questions: 1) What about meditation? He said do yoga like he said (Patanjali’s 8-limbed path), which includes meditation. 2) What about music? Do it as a hobby, I was told. 3) I told the Nadi reader that while there were a lot of accurate things, some things were wrong, such as his saying that the woman I am separated from is older than me [And we weren't truly SEPARATED separated at the time.] He said you can read it that she is older than me in knowledge/spiritually, not years. Originally he said that she is one year older than me.”
All that for 850 rupees, which at that time was $17 or so.
Now I have to say, this Nadi reader in Bangalore did not impress me overmuch, mainly because I provided him with some information before he found my leaf, and his reading seemed too general. Later, though, I was to hear about another Nadi astrologer not too far away in the Chennai area. This guy, I was told, had the goods — his leaves (from an ancient sage named Agastya) actually do have names and other specific facts about your incarnation. A friend who had gotten his reading from this Nadi reader said that the guy read off from the leaf:
His name,
his father’s name,
his mother’s name,
his first wife’s name,
his second wife’s name,
and more.
I was blown away when my friend told me this, part of me didn’t completely believe him, but part of me wanted to go see this Nadi reader IMMEDIATELY. Now this friend is very business oriented and he said that he was going to both film this guy doing his readings, and also try to bring him to the States. Whether he succeeded in doing either of those things, I don’t know, haven’t heard a word. Here are a few YouTube videos that you can watch, though, in the meantime (see the above videos). One says that there’s actually a project to put all of the Nadi leaves onto a computer database that people can access (if they are meant to have a reading).
I showed these to a friend who recently went to Chennai to attend the Oneness University. I suggested that if he had time to go to this Nadi reader, he would not be disappointed. So he called ahead before leaving the States. At first it didn’t look like he was going to have a reading, but I guess it was meant to be because he did. And guess what? It was just like my other friend said. The Nadi reader told him a bunch of things it seemed like he could not have known otherwise (not sure if he was the same one that Dadhichi the Astrologer saw, because his Nadi reading seemed a bit different than described in the video).
Now, how did some guy from how many thousands of years ago, whose native tongue was Tamil, and who didn’t know you or I from Adam — how did he come to know all of this stuff? What kind of Time Machine did this dude have access to, really? And the answer is: There is no time, and…That’s the power of meditation — real meditation. Read the third chapter of the Yoga Sutra to see what real, disciplined yoga practice can achieve.
Thank you for joining me again on this voyage of Self-discovery, and welcome back.
If you are 25-30 right now, especially, you should be aware of what the “Return of Saturn”
or “Saturn Return” is, and what it potentially means for your life.
Like the Enneagram, I feel this is a very important tool/concept to help you to better understand who you are, and to better find/make your way in the world.
Basically, when you hit your first Saturn Return (between the ages of 27-30), you are at a crossroads — you’re leaving the world of childhood and adolescence and young adulthood, and now you’re fully entering the world of mature adulthood. At this time, you may find your life taking a new, and often unexpected but very welcome direction. It also can be a troubled time for some, and it may require something of a stretch to shift into the new possibilities that are opening to you but which you may not be aware of as of yet.
But don’t listen to me, I am not an authority on the subject, so I am going to give you some websites to go to, some things to check out. First try this video series:
Try this article on the subject: http://www.newage-directory.com/saturn.html Now read the Wikipedia Article on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_return” And finally an entire blog devoted to Saturn and Saturn Return: http://www.saturnreturn.net/ Finally, here’s a short piece I wrote on my own Saturn Return, hope you enjoy…
Coming Full Circle, Coming Home — Saturn Return
“He was born in the summer of his 27th year/ coming home to a place he’d never been before//
He left yesterday behind/ might say he was born again/ might say he found the key to every door…”
– John Denver, “Rocky Mountain High”
Let me say first off, and I say this unabashedly: I love John Denver’s music — his early songs at least, particularly “Country Roads,” “The Eagle and the Hawk,” and the one quoted above. Those late Sixties/early Seventies songs struck a deep chord in our national and collective consciousness, perhaps because they reflect so well the soul’s connection with the natural world. But as a romantic, they spoke to me in a deeper way, too.
I had this interesting experience of sitting in a temple in India during the festival of Navaratri (literally “Nine Nights,” dedicated to the Divine Mother), and when I should have been immersed in blissful consciousness (or so I thought at the time), instead I suddenly realized I was actually longing to hear John Denver’s music. But even more than that — I was longing to create music like his — music that is heart-opening, attuned to and reflecting love of Mother Nature. And I longed to be in Nature, too, away from all the dirt, noise, and pollution of the city, not to mention the crowds. Jung might have said that it was the Western consciousness in me that was suddenly bringing this up for me to look at and process, but I would suggest it could have easily been the yogi in me that was yearning to return to the beauty, purity and solitude of nature. Whatever the case, that’s what happened, I’m just reporting what the “eternal witness” observed. But that’s not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about…
I want to talk about a concept called “Saturn Return,” and how it applied to my life. Incidentally, though, on the subject of music (are we ever not on it?), the first time I saw this phrase “Saturn Return” was on an REM album (”Reveal” to be exact). Not knowing what it meant at the time, I took it to be just more of Michael Stipe’s clever wordplay. Later I learned from my partner, Angeliea, who is an astrologer, that Saturn Return is actually an astrological term for a radical shift that generally occurs in each individual’s life between the age of 27-30, and connected with the return of the .
Now do you see the connection between the opening lines of John Denver’s epic “Rocky Mountain High” and Saturn Return? Because whether Denver (his real name Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. ) knew it or not, he was singing about his Saturn Return rebirth. He was also singing his own personal mythology, the story of his life in four “easy” verses. When he first came to Colorado and experienced the Rocky Mountains, he felt as though he had come “home to a place he’d never been before.” He had been there of course in his heart, in his consciousness — and he had always been searching for it — but not physically in his lifetime. So when he arrived there, it was like, “Ah, this is exactly what I’ve been looking for all of these years!” Tears of joy! Tears of understanding! Tears, beautiful tears!
That’s what it was like for me when I first encountered yoga. It was like: I can’t believe this exists, that this is all coming true, because this is what I have been secretly longing for and looking for all of these years, and I thought I was the only one! Suddenly I was learning that there were others like me, that there was this thing that has been around for thousands of years, that exists, that has been in a sense just there waiting for me to discover it (or re-discover it — more on this soon). Yet from my perspective now, well past my Saturn Return, I can hardly put myself back in that consciousness, when the world had such unexplored frontiers for me. It was very much the consciousness of a naif, of a very young man, whereas now I am much more in the more worldly-wise adult “been there, done that” consciousness (though I will never truly be cynical or jaded, as yoga wisdom has helped me to retain a continued and ever-renewed sense of awe and wonder).
Before I go on, here’s Johnny singing “Rocky Mountain High” in 1974 :
My Love Affair with, and Marriage to, Yoga
“Bring Back that Lovin’ Feeling…” ~ The Righteous Brothers
I wrote the section above last night, and as I reflected on it in bed, it occurred to me that my experience with yoga can be likened to a romance of sorts. The courtship stage was a few months, during which time I was first exposed to its teachings, was reading and exploring, with the help of a friend in graduate school. I was definitely attracted to it, but in that initial period, I wasn’t quite sure of what kind of commitment I would make as I still had a lot of questions, a fair degree of skepticism.
After that initial period of courtship, my doubts had been allayed and I was “head over heels” in love, so to speak (I hadn’t yet been introduced to the headstand). Basically I was fully engaged and prepared to commit my life to Yoga. And Yoga was everything to me, to the extent that I wasn’t interested in even considering any other spiritual path, just as a young lover has eyes for nought but his beloved. In fact, everything else seemed less in my mind. Imbalanced, yes, but such is love…
So we were married, and the “honeymoon” lasted a good while — a couple of years, which is probably how long most honeymoons last. On the one hand, it’s not a long time, but on the other it’s a lifetime in itself when you understand that time is an illusion. At this point, the yoga practices and teachings did not have the same vibrancy for me as they had had initially, and I blamed myself for losing “that loving feeling” when in fact I could have understood it to be a universal stage in one’s growth. At this point, a couple will either divorce and work through things. In my case, there was question of continuing with yoga and keeping the “marriage” alive; after all, it was still assisting my growth in so many ways, and there was still so much to learn. And yet still, it (or I) didn’t have the same juice. Perhaps, as in running, I had gone “too far, too fast” and was burning out, whereas I should have paced myself a little better. Perhaps I was expecting too much too soon (of course I was), thinking that “Enlightenment” was just around the corner, when really I should have been more humble and realized how far there is to go, how many subtle twists and turns there are on the path, how narrow it becomes at times, how much like a “razor’s edge” it can be. Well, I did understand this to a certain extent, and I did keep on with it, and that’s why I’m here right now to tell you how you might deal with an experience of “dark night of the soul” (as St. John of the Cross put it). So stay tuned and attuned for more soon.
Namaste!
For further reading and exploration:
John Denver’s astro chart in regard to his life and “untimely” death:
